let john mulaney host the oscars you fucking cowards

morthils:

stillisee:

aro-as-in-straight-as-a:

thegoodjanet:

izzy-almighty:

hot take: jake peralta is bi and john mulaney plays his ex boyfriend from high school in season six of brooklyn nine-nine

john mulaney plays a rockin’ twink

John Mulaney: *to himself* What would Leonard Bernstein do?

Captain Holt: *to Jake, quietly* I support your and Amy’s relationship with my whole heart but why on earth would you give up a man like that

I don’t even go here (just like… my toes) and I want this, specifically with all these tages from @bosstoaster

#The episode would be Amy getting jealous not of John and Jake but that he has so many interests in common with Holt #So she spends the whole time trying to win back the Captain #Meanwhile Rosa is on a warpath at Jake #Because she told HIM about her sexuality and stuff and had EMOTIONS #And he didn’t tell HER #How DARE he

“look, it’s not like i hid anything, it just never came up!”

“You called yourself out for ‘straighsplaining’“

the whole bi thing goes completely over charles’ head and he keeps getting really aggro like “oh you and jake were real close huh?? too bad, sucker jake is MY best friend!”

everybody else is like “charles no”

at the end john mulaney turns out to be the embezzler they’ve been looking for

But he gets away by throwing a silver money clip with a fifty dollar bill in it in the gutter

Source: beachdeath

super-mario-girl:

I can’t believe no one has posted a clip of this yet. This is one of the funniest bits in the whole show.

roman-lxix:

Anybody else get this??

(Template made by @banozac )

Bonus:

rey-sky-walkers:

John Mulaney deserved that Emmy solely for his bit about Trump being a horse running around a hospital. That joke alone saved 2018.

Source: two-drink-amy

vinyldyke:

john mulaney alignment chart

Source: sweaterdyke

To Do List:

carrotcase:

andyman117:

lucys-preston:

1. Buy money clip (engraved?)

2. Put $50 in it

3. Chuck it away at the first sign of danger

S T R E E T S M A R T S

lizatonix:

bobertlutece:

this whole thing is way too good to be giffed you need to expirience it

There are so many things that are TOP quality about this. The business with the mic rope. The bounding across the stage like an excited puppy or a newsie. The Voice™️ that is so synonymous with John, you know, the voice of a guy who sells ice cream at the soda fountain in the 50’s. The analogy itself.

It’s all so beautiful, such peak humor and content.