Steve: I saw the way you were looking at that ass while it was flyin around all phat in the air n shit…. and I would like to say that only one of us knows what it tastes like and it certainly isn’t you. Know your place, fiend.
Tony: Steve it’s been two years since I even looked at you do you really wanna air our dirty laundry like that to the guy who just stabbed me in the fucking lungs
tony stark? untouchable? lmaooo bitch pls. when has tony stark ever not suffered consequences by the narrative?? like. how??? what movies have u been watching where anthony edward stark has been untouched by consequences ??? lmao tony??? who’s;
– been attacked by a weapon of his own design that pierces his chest with shrapnel
– endured open heart surgery while awake with terrorists holding him down as his chest is cut open with a stranger’s hand digging inside it in a dirty cave
– had horrific body modification done to him
– had his life depend on a literal car battery (and then the arc reactor)
– been held in captivity and tortured by terrorists for three (3) months
– had his “father figure” paralyse him and quite literally rip his heart from his chest, and mentally torment him before leaving him to die in his own living room
– had to deal with the knowledge that he was slowly dying from palladium poisoning
– flown a nuke through a wormhole into space, expecting to not come out of it alive
– managed to just barely make it out alive after flying said nuke through a wormhole, coming out of it with ptsd and severe anxiety
– had his entire house blown up while he was inside because he impulsively gave out his home address and baited a terrorist –
– majorly fucked up when his intended peace-keeping program somehow became a murder-bot instead by external forces and had to deal with the guilt of all the destruction it caused
– had to go through the entirety of civil war
– yeeted himself into space AGAIN to save a wizard
– been near-fatally stabbed with his own sword by a mad titan on another fucking planet
– lost his son figure who crumbled to ash, slipping right through his fingers (and who just prior to his death, desperately clung to him, begging him to not let him go, but he couldn’t do a thing to save him)
– having to deal with the guilt of knowing that 50% of the universe is now gone because strange traded the time stone to spare HIS life
– now adrift in space with zero hope of rescue, is out of food and water, and is about to run out of oxygen
IN WHAT WORLD HAS TONY STARK NOT SUFFERED ANY CONSEQUENCES ?!!?? I AM SO CONFUSION FFHKDKD ANTIS EXPLAIN
jfc i always lose my shit whenever an anti comes @ me with a “tony stark is untouchable” or “he never gets any consequence” like can yall just???? sit the fuck down and watch a single iron man movie before yall write out some shitty mediocre half-assed bullshit character report? because his entire 10 year story arc was literally just pain and him suffering???
I sometimes think most of the anti-Tony folks are Cap stans who came into the series very late, and probably got most of their information from “Winter Soldier” and “Civil War.” (They IDOLIZE CAWS and call it the “perfect” movie. I mean, it was good – but of course they love it because it’s unadulterated Stucky, not for any deep appreciation of the screenplay or production.)
And then they read the anti-Tony commentary about “Civil War” and believe the old lies about “Serpent Society” and that whole stupid canard, and then the idiocy about RDJ supposedly “forcing” his way into the movie and taking up screen time from…Stucky. Which is, of course, their main beef. All long since disproved – the Russos themselves have said they had to go after RDJ and convince him to be in CACW. But all these folks know is what they want to believe – they’re selective believers. They wallow in the untruths passed around by their own bunch, which is exactly what conspiracy theorists do.
And then they watched the Avengers movies. AND never bothered to go back and watch the Iron Man movies, because now they simplistically hate Iron Man because he was briefly the “antagonist” to Cap. And all they get from the Avengers movies, apparently, is that Tony is snarky and arrogant, because they have no basis on which to apprise the complexity or underlying heroicism and goodness of his character. (Never mind that part about him selflessly carrying the nuke into space.) So – not having even watched the Iron Man movies, they make ridiculous comments like “Tony Stark never suffers any consequences.” I mean, really…??
So, of course, they’re literally missing most of the point of the MCU, which is that BOTH men were right in “Civil War;” BOTH men are heroes, just in different ways; and BOTH men admire and even love each other. And that YES, OF COURSE this whole storyline is leading to a reconciliation and a re-teaming of the two.
Steve: Oh My God Tony I’m so sorry I just lost track of myself a bit, I’ll pay to fix it, Jesus, this is so embarrassing I-
Tony, already measuring it up, taking photos with his mobile whilst he pulls up his pants: JARVIS get me on the phone with the fucking Louvre I’ve got a new exhibition for them.