Tag: f: mcu

steve, nat, bucky and bruce have a group chat for super soliders and half of its complaining about shield and the other half is just them forgetting that they are literal superhuman and breaking things by using more force than need accidentally

lovelyirony:

god ur so valid for including bruce i’m gonna bust a happy nut 

steve: i broke a car again 

bucky: did u take the wheel off bc i kind of need to watch a youtube video to know how to put a wheel back on a lambo

bruce: what the fuck buck 

nat: lmao that rhymed….anyway both steve and bucky are no longer cool and me n bruce are 

bruce: i actually broke a window today 

nat: how the FUCK did you do that 

bruce: i wanted some fresh air and got frustrated with the opening of it so i just,,,kind of smashed it 

bucky: i don’t say this often enough, bruce, but you’re so fucking valid. let’s just smash all the windows 

steve: or we don’t do that adn just open them regularly 

nat: ugh ur such a basic bitch :/ 

nat: also guess who has to work sunday even tho she told fury that she couldn’t :))) 

steve: you’re fucking with me are u for real 

nat: :))) maria isn’t here so i’m stuck with mcfucks :)) 

steve: i’m….going to fight the entirety 

bucky: u already did that and i had to go down in the potomac and that fuckin lake ass situation was SHIT no ur not doing that 

bruce: just tell them i’m close to a hulk-out and require constant connex or smthn idk lmao 

nat: …bruce ur a genius can i say that i made plans to go with you to a scientific conference but instead we just watch rom-coms on netflix 

bruce: yes but only if you watch one (1) episode of my show 

nat: i will literally die for you bruce why do you think i watch that show with you 

bucky: TONY FOUND OUT ABOUT THE WHEEL AND I BLAMED IT ON HIS KID LAJFLSAKDFJLASDFL 

steve: oh my ,,,,, bucky 

bucky: I PANICKED I DIDN’T WANT HIM TO BE MAD AT ME I NEED TO STILL ASK HIM ON A DATE 

bruce: ur a dead man i just texted him what rlly happened 

bucky: whY

bruce: bc i’m not personally involved in this situation so i don’t care what consequences you have reaped or sown 

nat: that was so ominous 

Clint: [Banging on the one way mirror] Ask him about his bank accounts.
Natasha:
Clint: Ask him about his bank accounts.
Clint: ASK HIM ABOUT HIS BANK-
[Glass Breaks]
Clint: Accounts… You should ask him about his bank accounts.
Clint: Phil, Romanoff broke the glass

officialheroesofolympus:

Doctor Strange: it’s day 420 in the soul world and-

The Peters: ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST AND ANOTHER ONE GONE AND ANOTHER ONE GONE

Bucky: GIVE ME BACK MY ARM, WILSON

Wanda: *loudly sobbing*

T’Challa: *sobbing louder*

Groot: I AM GROOT

Nick Fury: YOUVE SAID THE SAME THING SINCE YOU CAME HERE AND I STILL DONT CARE

Doctor Strange, whispering: somebody please save me

itsallavengers:

itsallavengers:

There’s a running competition in the Avengers called ‘who can get their therapist to quit fastest’ 

1st place: Steve, because he literally just disagrees and argues with everything they say, all the time, as a matter of principal. The weather is nice today? No it’s not. The sun is fucking terrible, John, I hate the sun. I’m Irish. We burn. Fuck you.

2nd place: Natasha. She doesn’t provoke them. She doesn’t do anything. Just stares right at them for an hour straight and makes them silently rethink every decision they’ve made prior to that point.  

3rd place: Tony. The latest one finally snapped when they had a session on the day of Howard Stark’s death and rather than come in mourning Tony brought a bottle of champagne and a sippy cup and declared that this was how he was drinking all beverages from now on.