Venom, to Anne and Dan: Hello, everyone. Today Eddie called me a parasite so I’m starting a Kickstarter to put him down. The benefits of killing him would be I would be called parasite way less. -holds up a poorly drawn graph-
But really the contrast between the usual Venom origin vs the movie one is so hilarious like it basically amounts to “I let this symbiote bond with me bc we both want revenge on Spider-Man and then I fell in love with it and now we’re happily married” vs “This Fucking THING just hitched a ride on me and made everyone think I’m insane and then I fell in love with it and we’re fucking now I guess this is my life now” and they’re both fucking beautiful.
clintbbarton 