Listen I have zero headcanons or plot for a Leverage OT3 highschool AU, I just have a burning desire for Eliot driving around his boyfriend and girlfriend in a beat up old car and Nana being awesome and Parker being Mysterious and also maybe like milkshakes??? Flannel and sneakers??? Cute teen dates??? Someone please save me.
-Eliot charming the shit out of Nana with his ‘ma’am’ and appreciation for Good Food.
-Parker not officially going to school, she just picks a class or two she wants to follow because Archie said she should learn to blend in with kids her age. She steals the teacher’s roll-call list and adds herself to it.
-Eliot 100% the quarterback. He is also Very Popular with The Ladies and some of the other players are like: HOW DO YOU GET SO MUCH ASS ELIOT and he is like: TRY TREATING WOMEN LIKE PEOPLE JACKASS. (He doesn’t even get around half as much as people think, because he is Respectful and even when he does have sex he never tells.)
-Hardison takes ALL the computer classes. He finished all his assignments on the first day and spends the rest of his time hacking and programming and messing with the school’s system so bullies actually get in trouble and kids who have accessibility needs are suddenly getting the funds and help they need.
-Parker tried out for cheerleader and it went about as well as you can imagine.
-Lots of very cute late night dates at all-night diners with milkshakes and Eliot arguing with the fry cook and Hardison charming the waitress but only because he wants to distract her from Parker sneaking behind the counter to top up their milkshake.
-Hardison being very understanding Eliot doesn’t want to introduce him to his dad like: is it the boy thing, the black thing, or… And Eliot is like: no no no it’s the my dad is an asshole thing and I don’t want to subject either of you to him but I want you to meet my little brother his name is Jake he’s really smart you’ll like him.
-All three of them have tried the yawn-and-arm-around-the-shoulders move and only one of them was succesful. (Eliot. And only half the time, one time he nearly poked Hardison’s eye out.)
-Parker stealing her boy’s clothes and accidentally becoming the centre of attention because wearing the quarterback’s letterman jacket Means Something so she makes Hardison switch with her and that just causes more gossip and meanwhile Eliot is bitching at them like DID NOBODY THINK THAT MAYBE I’M COLD WITHOUT MY JACKET DO YOU SEE HOW MANY LAYERS I WEAR IT’S NOT A FASHION STATEMENT DAMMIT HARDISON GIVE IT BACK.
-Nana has totally taken Parker aside and told her if she needs anything, she can always come to her. Parker fled because of Emotions but also has totes dropped by the house while Hardison was out to 1) get advice from an adult who was not Archie and 2) eat all the homemade cookies.
-Eliot takes the other two camping. It goes about as well as you can imagine.
-Hardison and Eliot seeing Archie with Parker when they’re arguing about a job. Hardison very carefully tries to question her about who Archie is (’nah, Archie isn’t my dad, he has a Real Family’), if he’s bad-touching her, and Parker being ‘???’ until Eliot is like: IS HE HURTING YOU BECAUSE I WILL PUNCH HIM and Parker being like: oh lol no, Archie knows I would stab him if he tried to touch me. =D He gave me a knife!
-They’re still not entirely sure about who Archie is so they track him down and threaten him just in case. Archie makes up some kind of story about being a mentor and being all: I’m glad Parker made friends who will threaten adults for her.
-Who gave Parker a skateboard who thought that was a good idea she is riding it along the edge of a 10 story building.
-Laser tag death match, winner gets to pick the movie/food/sit in the middle of the snugglepile.
-Weirdly invested and inappropriate-life-advice-giving guidance counsellor Sophie Devereaux who may or may not be a con-woman laying low for a few years.
-Econ teacher Nate who will explain the economy and the market and also how marketing schemes and con-men work and if you ask the right questions at the right time and distract him BOOM your lesson is now a history of epic heists class.
Do you think Hardison, who is well-versed in fanfiction and fandom tropes, ever stops to look at his life and is just like: omg.
Undercover at a coffee shop? COFFEE SHOP AU. Parker, please let me make you a coffee so we can have our very own meet-cute.
They have to get out of town fast and end up at a shitty little motel. Eliot opens the door and growls. Parker shrugs. Hardison stands on the treshhold, fist to his mouth, and gleefully whispers: there’s only one bed.
Fake dating? He is here for it. Fake married? HELL YEAH BABY they will be so married nobody will doubt their marriedness.
Parker doesn’t understand why he’s so excited about the tattoo shop next door to their clients, a flower-shop being harrassed by a big property developer who wants their building. “Do you want a tattoo?” she asks. No, babe, it’s just this fandom thing… “Oh it’s one of your make-believe about make-believe things.” Um… yeah.
Stuck in a snowstorm? Not as great or as sexy as fandom made it out to be.
Hardison meaningfully saying: and they were roommates and being annoyed that nobody answers.
He’s still waiting for the ‘undercover as a stripper’ episode. He’s ready. For whoever it is. He has outfits. He has nipple tassles. He has the whole Magic Mike choreography down just in case it’s him, okay?
That time Parker steals an entire busload of orphans through the power of Haagen-Das and he’s like: this is not how Accidental Baby Acquisition Fics usually go but okay, that’s cool.
Hardison saying Eliot shouldn’t try and seduce someone to get information out of them, because ‘Sam will kill him if he tries anything’ and everyone being like WHO THE HELL IS SAM.
Giant Fandom Nerd Hardison living his best fandom life, okay?
My favourite thing about Leverage (other than all of it) is the fact that Alec Hardison, cinnamon roll, gentleman, and all around ray of sunshine, took one look at a human Gordian knot and the living embodiment of the raincloud emoji and said, “Yes, these ones.”
Parker, you know, you don’t let feelings get in the way. You rotate problems, security, people, timelines. You spin them in the three-dimensional space. Like puzzle pieces, until they click. It’s not the way I think, but…. I trust your judgement. I really do.
clintbbarton 