lesbianjohnmulaney:

Kevin Day’s life is essentially the Delta airlines routine

You know, I don’t wanna name an actual Exy team, so let’s just make one up; let’s call it “Palmetto State Foxes.”

So, I’ll join “Palmetto State Foxes” and I’ll show up at the Foxhole Court and I’ll go, “Can everyone listen to me, please?”

And they go, “No. We don’t care for your opinion.”

And I go, “Okaaay!”

And then I go to the bathroom.

And then I come out of the bathroom and I go, “Any updates?” and they go “Yeah, we talked shit about you while you were in the bathroom.

Because we hate you.

Now take this goalie that won’t cooperate, go fetch!”

And I go “Okaaay!” and I go over to Andrew Minyard and go, “Can you practice Exy with me, please?” and he goes “NO!”

And I go “Okaaay!”

And he goes, “You need to grow a spine, don’t you?”

And I go “Nooo,” and he goes “SAY IT!” and I go “I need to grow a spine.“

And then I go over to the rookie, Neil Josten, which is an oxymoron, and I go, “Can you please not cause any trouble?” and he goes “No!

In fact, I’m actually Nathaniel Wesninski!

And I’m gonna piss off Riko so he fucks with us!”

And I go “Why are you doing this to me?!”

And he goes, “Because we’re Palmetto State Foxes, and life is a fucking nightmare~!”